Babies

Yesterday I came home with groceries and a neighbor was walking her granddaughter. Asher came out to help me and Big Boy came out on the porch. As the stroller passed the porch, the little girl said, "CA!" Her grandma said, that's the first time she's ever said that!
Way to go, Biggie, you have made yourself another fan!
I am starting to get close to wishing for a baby for reals. It's scary because I say that I have always been ready for a baby but when Ness and Dev had theirs, it kind of scared me. The physical aspect of it as well as the emotional impact. The financial part isn't as scary because I know you always figure out a way to do it, though things are easier for us now so maybe I am just feeling more comfortable. Still, it scares me. The needs, the instincts, the sleepless nights.
But looking at this little baby yesterday, the craving came back. Her dad is black and her mom is white and we had watched them walk down the street while her belly grew and grew. Now the baby is about a year old. And I am unnaturally pre-occupied at looking at children like this. It sounds weird to say, even feels weird to think it, but I always look at them like, "maybe my kid will look like you?"
Last week I went to Ulta and there was a mom and daughter there and the girl was in her early teens and mixed race. They were picking out mineral foundations together, of all things.
"I think I'm more caramel?"
"No! You're darker than that!"
"No, ma, look...."
"Oh yeah, you are caramel."
I made a wish for a girl in that moment.

Hank Cameron's Blog

If you made it here then you know that little Hank was born last September. He now has his very own blog and Dev (aka Mollie) updates it quite frequently with scrumptious little pics.
Already, Biggie was a featured guest on the blog:
When Hank and Biggie met, Hank would shake from excitement. Big loved him right back. I have never seen an animal behave the way Bigs does. He simply cannot get enough of children. Being 15 pounds, he lives up to his name and frequently enjoys the company of a certain little 13 pounder.
He also loves up Josie when she is in town.
Go visit their blogs, you will see that my brother and sister have made some beautiful babies! I can't wait to have my own baby blog someday!

Immigration Babies

Asher and I had our interview with immigration on Thursday afternoon.
It was a bit nerve-wracking because we weren't really prepared for what they would ask us, what would happen after the door shut behind us.
But sitting in the waiting room all around were families from different countries: Nepal, Africa, China, South America, the islands. There were little babies running their parents in circles and up and down stairs. Little one and two year olds who had just learned to use their legs. The cutest, chubbiest little babies of mixed heritage, half American and half from somewhere else in this big world. I looked at Asher and wondered who we might create, what they might look like, who they might choose to marry and create a child with. It makes the world feel very small and connected.
I have always wondered how it happened that a Seattle girl and a St. Lucian man would meet by chance or fate in a friend's apartment in Brooklyn. Who would wake up in a different apartment in Philly two days later, and completely in love.
We stayed at Taylor's apartment in Philly and Taylor had a world map printed on his shower curtain. I remember standing naked in front of it in the humid, sticky summer air. Drawing my hand from St. Lucia to New York, Seattle to New York. Amazed.

Creationism

I created these pictures for my family....Ness, the ice cream one is in homage to the lovely moment you described. JB is so cute until you see her chomping on Hank's head!

And finally, my homage to 2008 and love, starring Asher and I. Everyone wants to dog on 2008 now that 2009 has reared her hopeful, high-fiving self. But let me tell you...2008 saw Asher and I become family, Josie and Hank become (so simple, so amazing) and Mom and Dad celebrated 35 years together (and they still look at each other the way Barack looks at Michelle). 2008 can take her knocks but from the Loctor-Hardy-Ewings, we say, "Thanks Year, nice to have you here."

In fact, let's have Mama give us a cheer!

The debut

Here is a pic of me and Asher with baby Hank. It is not only Hank's debut but the debut of my new hairdo. Baby, this hair's got history.

After high school graduation, I bleached my hair. I had hair to the small of my back and I went to a salon in Portland and they botched it. It was yellow, like butter. I paid $100 and after being there for 8 hours, while the hair dresser ran up and down the street to get other hairdresser's opinions, I still gave the girl a tip.

My mom, always against the idea of me coloring or bleaching my hair, thought it looked terrible. I relinquished my pride and reluctantly agreed. She took me to the hairdresser who did her hair. She cut off a foot and a half of dry, damaged, yellow locks and left me with a platinum boy cut to start college with.

The hair eventually grew into a bob and eventually was shaved off (all but the bangs, into a "Chelsea cut") and then I eventually grew it back, all the way down to my butt. And through it all, I bleached it myself, at home, for $6 with products from Sally's Beauty Supply.

When I decided to let it grow back to natural blonde, I can't remember why. I know I was in a horribly bad relationship that I was in denial about and with his influence I had been dangerously close to cutting myself off from my family. On a visit from Portland to Seattle, my mom took me to her hairdresser and I began the slow transition from platinum to natural, multi-shade blonde. Each time I needed my hair done, my mom would have me visit and we would go to the guy and he would fix me up.

Two years ago, when I met Asher, I had the compulsion to go light again. He met me with natural - all me - blonde hair. On the next trip to NYC I had blonder highlights and by the time he moved here, I was thinking platinum again. He loved that I changed my hair often.

But when I got engaged last year, mom got worried. She and I worked with two hairdressers to return my hair to a light natural-colored blonde. It didn't quite work and it ended up still white on the ends, with darker roots. None of them would put low-lights (darker pieces) in for fear of having it not take.

So after the wedding, I decided I wanted a change. I went to my girl and she gave me both a terrible haircut and color - choppy crazy layers and brownish grey hair, not any color you would frame your face in. I was sad because she didn't listen to A WORD I said about the color or the cut. Everyone at work lied to me, those who didn't lie stayed silent as if no major change had taken place. Until, the VP of the company came in to work. She immediately said, "It is terrible, I'm sending you to my girl. My treat." So I eagerly went to her salon in downtown Seattle and I was transformed. The haircut fixed, to the best of her abilities, and the color made into a darker blonde, more intentional shade.

Over the course of the last week, I became high maintenance. With my new hair, I blow dry, curl, hairspray, apply makeup and shocking lip colors. Asher is overwhelmed. Every time I leave the house without him he says, "now remember you have a husband at home" and slaps my butt. Everyone at work, seriously, like 15 people, were like "wow, I love your new look." Relief. Though I spend at least 20 minutes more on my hair than I did before, I now have a style that can do so many different looks (see the Farrah in the pic above). I found that when you put more effort into your appearance, you actually feel better about yourself (duh). And this look is so much more interesting than the straight, long, white-blonde hair.

A girl can only go through so much related to her hair.

PS. this new haircut would totally look hot platinum -blonde. I am restraining myself.

Hank Cameron Ewing

This is the little boy who stole our hearts.

Sept 28, 2008 - 4:35p.m.

7Lbs. 10.9Oz

20Inches long

13.75 Inch Head

Hank's daddy likes to wear all kinds of hats so we think there may be a custom fedeora or kangol on the way. Why else measure the head?

Dev did such a good job, pushing him hard to get him out. He is a good sleeper and a good eater and he got the best of both gene pools. What a cutie!

My precious little Dev

My little Dev is going to be a mom in the next few days. It is one of those mysteries of life that catches my breath. Because I am the last one in the family to be married and the last one to be thinking seriously about having children, I have watched this stuff happen to people around me, people I love the most. And inside me I am always a bit off guard by these momentous steps that happen so easily and naturally.
One day, when I was almost three, I was taken to the hospital to get a first look at my little sister. This glace at a little baby is my very first solid memory and I can actually draw that fuzzy feeling image back. She was all mine until eighteen years later when she met B and then slowly we detached and she became his.
Now, she is on bed rest, waiting for her baby boy to decide he is ready. She and B will be a mom and a dad, like our parents are for us. They will give him the best they can, raise him to be a good, strong, loving man and make sure he gets lots of tickles and raspberry blows on his belly, even when he is too old to allow himself to enjoy it. Maybe he will play drums like B did or violin like Dev. Ultimately, no matter how cute his name is, I will always call him something else, like I did with his mama.
And for now, he will have at least one cousin (shout out to JB) who he will grow up with and their lives will follow the same track of innocence, freedom, love and they will feel the same awe when life starts happening around them and then finally, to them.

Woodland Shower

Last weekend was my Dev's baby shower, it turned out so well and the mama was very appreciative. Yesterday was she and B's 4 year wedding anniversary. They will have a new baby within the next month and we expect he will completely change their lives.

Baby Ewing, here are some pictures of the party I threw you.*


*With a trunkload of help from Heidi (Dev's good friend).