Little's Family

There are two different nighttime rituals in our house.

The first plays like this....
Asher is painting and I am tired so the kitties and I snuggle in to bed. Biggie humps the bed for a minute until I yell at him, then he snuggles under my arm at the edge of the bed. Mox (aka Little) snoozes on my belly and then snuggles in at the foot of the bed. She is jumpy and will wake up and jump off the bed at the slightest sound so she likes to be there perched on the end, closest to the door. Big will stay asleep and look at you with sleepy eyes like "Why are you waking me up?" no matter what the time. At some point Asher will come to bed but we won't really ever know it since he is up again before light. Sleep chases that guy. When I wake up, the kitties are always in their spots and I don't know if they move during the night.

The second, much more lovey-dovey night goes like this...
Asher starts falling asleep on the couch and I nudge him to go to bed. Big snuggles in under my arm. We lay there and chat, kiss each other bunches and get cozy. Then we hear Little..."mwow, mwow, mwow" from far away. She doesn't quite meow, she makes this exciting noise as she plays with her toys. We call her to us. "Mox! Little! Yo!" And we hear the noise get closer, her toy fling down the hallway. We see her by the doorway and invite her up. She rests on my belly and finally at the foot of my bed. And we are all so happy that I usually end up giggling a little and then I am asleep. And in the morning, we are usually all in our same spots, Little and her family.

Collections

The other day I got to peek in my neighbor's house. She was showing me her paint colors and then it turned into a whole house tour where I snooped around and asked about all the cute little vintage items she has scattered around the house.

In her bedroom, she has several vintage pictures of little children blowing bubbles in their original frames. I thought it was the sweetest collection I had ever seen and was surprised at such a unique theme. Now, when I look across our yard to her windows, I always think of that little collection.

Sign Language

You know when you see a picture and a memory comes back to you and then you think...why in the world did I remember that just by looking at this simple little interior design photo?

Well just now I looked at this picture....

And those two little beds made me think of when Dev and I got our wisdom teeth pulled. They did us at the same time (or maybe one after the other?) and then we slept off the anesthesia on these little beds. I was on the left and Dev was on the right. When we woke up, we couldn't speak for fear of what had been done to us and also because our mouths were filled up with cotton. So we did sign language to each other.

Are you okay?

Yes, I'm okay.

What a nice way to wake up.

Sexy Pictures

I found these pictures and it reminded me of the time I had a boyfriend who was going to work on a fishing boat. While he was up there, I wanted to send him a care package and include some sexy pictures of me.
My little Dev took poloroids of me in lingerie and she made it fun and comfortable and when a picture turned out bad we just redid it. I even did a little pose like the one on the upper left but I had cute little undies on.
I kept the pictures when we broke up and they will just stay there in the drawer for me to go back to every once in awhile for a thrill. I think every girl should do this.

picture from White Lightning

Crushed!

So it took me exactly 6 hours to fall in love with something new....Holy cow. I'm pretty sure I stopped breathing when I found them. They are made of rubber...and it is scented to smell yummy. This is my next paycheck splurge (MONDAY)!

Here's what the website says...

Ladies - catch your breath. This unbelievably cute heel is the latest collaboration between Vivienne Westwood Anglomania and Melissa. The Lady Dragon has a baby blue finish with adjustable slingback strap, peep-toe and red heart ornament.As with all Melissa shoes, they're crafted in Brazil of natural and sustainable rubber. They are extremely comfortable, mold to your feet after just a few wears, are totally waterproof, and can be cleaned in a sink with good 'ol soap and water.

Notice they mention breathlessness?! And the other adorable colors!

And you could be a bride and wear them! Holy Moly!
Max Wegner

Big Money

We officially have tickets to go to Long Beach to spend Sept. 9-13th with T, V&J. Our tickets were cheap! Only $350 for two round trip tickets on Jet Blue. And I will only work two days that week since it is the week of Labor Day. No work on Monday, only Tuesday and Wednesday. Yippee!

Also, it's the second Friday of the month which means it's the Long Beach Roll out. Ness and I will lace up our roller skates and Asher and Thomas will skateboard along side us, all through the town. How exciting. I'm gonna have to get one of Nessa's shirts that says...I "skate" LBC!

And today I found this Kate Spade vase on One Kings Lane:
And it matches two of the vases we got for our wedding: (I have the big pink one, and the small turquoise and now the little pink one. I can think of a ton of cute little arrangements with these beautiful vases...)

And only $45 and it's really heavy, leaded glass. I can hit someone over the head with it if they try to break in to our house. So I bought that too. Now I'm all done spending the big dough...

Bright Lights, Big City

My Favorite Color is Shiny

I wanted to write about our anniversary trip to New York but I have been slackin'. I'll get to it eventually but right now I just have this lump in my throat because I want to move there so badly. I just saw a picture of an apartment in Park Slope, Brooklyn and I just felt like I needed to go home and tell Asher that we need to go. NOW.

Everything rational inside me says it isn't the right time, it never will be. I lost my chance when Asher moved out here, when I didn't do more to move out to be with him. But that would have been a different life. We wouldn't be where we are today. How can I leave family? How would we survive? Would Asher be able to do art for his work? Could I find a job that I loved? When could we have babies and then how would we feed and care for them?

So yes, more questions that answers and it wouldn't make sense but goddamn it...I just can't let this dream die.

Praying

In the last week, it occurred to me that I forgot exactly how to pray.

I've been asking for other people's prayers but when it came to me doing it, I felt like I wasn't doing it right. I had trouble quieting my mind and thinking of eloquent words to say to the sky. Struggling to censor anger and fear with a more pleasant request for leniency and strength.

Last night I listened to the program "Return to the Scene of the Crime" on This American Life. In a segment of the program, local author and sex columnist, Dan Savage, talks about how he grew up Catholic. He came out to his mother in his teens and ever since then he couldn't reconcile the Catholic church's beliefs (for instance, gays going to hell) with all the things he believed (that he was a good person).

His mother was the opposite, she could fit all her beliefs within the confines of the religion, even if her beliefs differed from the Pope's. He called her a good "American Catholic." She believed in birth control and gay rights and that women could be priests and they should all be able to marry.

Because she knew her son had fallen away from the religion she would say, "I know you don't pray, but keep me in your thoughts."

So last night, after hearing this, I kind of decided that to make it easier on myself, to make it less intimidating, I would just think about praying as "keeping you in my thoughts."

I've been praying all day.

I don't find it coincidental that I chose to listen to this podcast last night, just in time to ease my mind. I take it as a sign that God is always listening to me, even though I have trouble talking to him.
You can listen to the radio show HERE. Dan's segment starts at the 38 minute mark.

Me & My M

Asher sang this to me while we were walking home from dinner tonight. He remembers it from Sesame Street. How sweet is that?

Mmmmm....Pie

Last night I baked my very first Strawberry Rhubarb Pie. It is the prettiest pie I have ever baked. Unfortunately, it is too pretty to eat.
Last night, after it came out of the oven and sat for a minute I decided we couldn't do it. It was going to be our dinner because I had been busy baking since 6 and Asher was working. But like I said, it was too pretty to eat. So I made Asher a toasted cheese sandwich and off I went to bed. It was after midnight. Why did it take me so long to bake this one special pie? I cleaned out the refrigerator in the meantime. I think I threw away one entire shopping trip to Winco in rotten vegetables. I am ashamed we didn't eat them before they grew fur.
But back to my pretty pie. I used a new recipe for the crust, this one has sugar in it (and both butter and shortening)! And the whole reason I picked is was because of a line on the Smitten Kitchen recipe:
Certain pies, like, say, this Lattice-Topped Strawberry Rhubarb Pie, should be made every Memorial Day weekend, creating the most delicious bridge between rhubarb and strawberry season, during the most welcome break between winter and summer.
Isn't that perfect? I made it with rhubarb from Aunt Mirna mixed with some from Pike Place Market and strawberries from Safeway. They were kind of sour but this recipe has both white and brown sugar in it. I think we are in for a treat...when I decide it's okay to destroy it.

****Okay, I JUST realized, looking at the pictures compared to Smitten Kitchen's pie that I didn't weave the lattice like I should have, I just layed the strips on top of eachother willy-nilly. This is good news because now we can eat my ugly pie. Anyone want to come over tonight for pie?

I painted...

Tonight Asher and I went to the "Free Wall" in Seattle and I did my first graffiti piece, called a fill in. It turned out terrible, in all honesty. It was awful. Embarrassing. My pointer finger hurts and I swear I was doing it all wrong. But...
I can't wait to do it again!

Expect (future) greatness from this here chica.

Ten Dollar Drawings

I'm so excited! Months back, I heard about a blog called Ten Dollar Drawings from one of my favorite daily reads, For Me, For You . If you email Alicia, she will draw you anything you would like for $10. It's a 5X7 drawing on the back of a paper bag. And are any of us surprised that she lives in Portland? As Bret said the other day, Portland is the coolest city in the whole world.

Well, I thought and I thought. And I thought it would be great to get some drawings to hang in vintage frames in our new bedroom.


I'm doing my skeleton key display so I went for one with keys. Surprise! Alicia has a skeleton key tattooed on her wrist, which she included in the drawing (I hope she tells me which one it is).
The other I ask for was the Brooklyn Bridge so Asher and I can always remember our lovely Brooklyn. She posted a teaser pic of it today and I can't wait to get them in the mail!
I will put up a picture after they are framed and hung. If you are interested, email her for one of your own (she does A-mazing drawings of bugs, flies, and squirrels too)!

First Impressions

5 minutes late to class*.
Couldn't figure out how to turn on my computer and actually announced it to the class before I found the blatantly obvious blue button.
Went the wrong direction to go on break and ended up at a dead end hallway.
Tried to exit out of the bathroom using the storage closet door.
And then my phone rang.

Seriously? Seems I need a bit of focus.

*I'm taking an Illustrator class at Bellevue College (no longer a community college, it's fancy now).

How Cool Is This Guy?

"I feel so good that it's annoying," a smiling Ichiro told reporters through interpreter Ken Barron. "I feel so good that I feel like I would do something bad."

Who doesn't want to feel like that?

Read more...here. He (and his interpreter) are full of wit.

Adventureland

Tonight we saw another seriously sweet story about growing up. I kind of compare it to The Wackness or Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, one of those coming of age, sweet boy in the real world stories. Adventureland is so sweet, it gave me that little lump in my throat. It made me want to run my hands through a boys hair while I kiss him and listen to mix tapes from middle school.
We went to the 5:30 show, picked up Thai food to go, and stepped back out into the night. Eight o'clock and it was still bright out. Spring is in the air.

Look What Kate Added...

Kate Spade added more servingware to my Gwinnett Lane china!

Salt&Pepper, Pitcher, Two-Tier Serving Dish, Cake Plate.

I'm giddy with excitement!

Guess who's in our bedroom now?

Yes, my rug!

She came home last weekend. At first I thought she was too small, but mom showed me where it should be centered to be an accent piece and now I can't imagine her being anything other than what she is.

Biggie loves her too. He stretches, rolls and fluffs himself up when he sits on top of her but the first time he put claws to wool, he got scorned. I bought a pink water bottle at Ikea so that I can spray him if he even thinks about scratching her again. I had to spray him yesterday and he was so shocked. He screamed and whined at me for minutes afterward but I told him he better learn and quick. No one wants to be sprayed by cold water at seven in the morning.

This was the first time I exhibited dominance over my cat.

PS. This picture is dark but note that the wall color is delicious. I am so in love (paint color = Love Story by Benjamin Moore). Each time I walk into our bedroom I feel this incredible sense of calm. It is my favorite place in the whole world right now. I can't wait to finish decorating. You will get more pictures when it is all put together.

Mrs. Shortcake

With the first beautiful weekend of the summer extending into the work week, it was impossible to resist a flat of ripe, sugary strawberries. It felt like summer! They were on sale at Winco for $4.75 and while other people where scrutinizing each flat, the first one I put my hands on contained dozens of perfect specimens. Later in the evening, they made delicious shortcake for me and my hubby.

Oh! Little Lamb

On Gilt Group, LAMB was the special of the day. I tried to figure out if it was worth going penniless for the next two weeks in order to purchase this. I am always coveting Gwen Stefani's handbags. I once debated buying the Rasta hobo and I made Asher stand at the Nordstrom's sales counter while the woman tried to locate it at another store. Thank God they didn't have it in stock. When it became too difficult to obtain, I tried to forget about it. Then today, this little gem showed up. And it is not $525 but a measly $198. Wahahahaha.

No I did not buy it.

Right now I would rather have a beautiful vintage chenille bedspread.

Where have I gone wrong? Or oh, so right? I would rather decorate my pretty bedroom than my wrist. I call that growing up and I'm sneakily happy that I won't get killed by my husband who knows how much LAMB bags cost (but not how much vintage chenille bedspreads cost).

Mother, I have this one thing to say to you....Don't Speak*.

*You have to click on the link to get the joke, Ma. It is No Doubt (with Gwen) singing a song called Don't Speak. Okay, I just explained my own joke, I suck. But please, let's not discuss how much my future bedspread costs. K? Love you!

Babies

Yesterday I came home with groceries and a neighbor was walking her granddaughter. Asher came out to help me and Big Boy came out on the porch. As the stroller passed the porch, the little girl said, "CA!" Her grandma said, that's the first time she's ever said that!
Way to go, Biggie, you have made yourself another fan!
I am starting to get close to wishing for a baby for reals. It's scary because I say that I have always been ready for a baby but when Ness and Dev had theirs, it kind of scared me. The physical aspect of it as well as the emotional impact. The financial part isn't as scary because I know you always figure out a way to do it, though things are easier for us now so maybe I am just feeling more comfortable. Still, it scares me. The needs, the instincts, the sleepless nights.
But looking at this little baby yesterday, the craving came back. Her dad is black and her mom is white and we had watched them walk down the street while her belly grew and grew. Now the baby is about a year old. And I am unnaturally pre-occupied at looking at children like this. It sounds weird to say, even feels weird to think it, but I always look at them like, "maybe my kid will look like you?"
Last week I went to Ulta and there was a mom and daughter there and the girl was in her early teens and mixed race. They were picking out mineral foundations together, of all things.
"I think I'm more caramel?"
"No! You're darker than that!"
"No, ma, look...."
"Oh yeah, you are caramel."
I made a wish for a girl in that moment.

I'm Shreddin'

Ha! I wish that meant I was sitting on my rump shredding illegal documents. But no, it actually means I am getting my ass kicked by Jillian Michaels (Biggest Loser's hard body).
I have read so much about this exercise video and it kept popping up on a bunch of blogs I read. I ordered it from Amazon for like $8 after I read review after review about how much she kicks your boot-tay. I have to say, I am on level one and I can't do the whole thing all the way through. It is basic moves, jumping jacks and push ups, nothing fancy. I don't love the music or even her talking to me but I kind of feel like I can make myself do it for 20 minutes a day. And maybe after 30 days I will lose 20 L. B.'s like they say on the cover. Ha!
It used to be that when I focused on something, I became obsessed with it. I went so full force, got some consumed by it that soon it became less than thrilling. So...I'm going to start doing lots of different stuff: Weight Watchers, exercise videos, walking outside, riding bikes, taebo, whatevs. And maybe this time it will just be normal and not some freaky, obsessive, unsustainable choice. Just good old fashioned exercise. Like push ups and uh...jumping jacks.

Hank Cameron's Blog

If you made it here then you know that little Hank was born last September. He now has his very own blog and Dev (aka Mollie) updates it quite frequently with scrumptious little pics.
Already, Biggie was a featured guest on the blog:
When Hank and Biggie met, Hank would shake from excitement. Big loved him right back. I have never seen an animal behave the way Bigs does. He simply cannot get enough of children. Being 15 pounds, he lives up to his name and frequently enjoys the company of a certain little 13 pounder.
He also loves up Josie when she is in town.
Go visit their blogs, you will see that my brother and sister have made some beautiful babies! I can't wait to have my own baby blog someday!

GraffRoot's Blog

I just finished making a blog for Asher (he hasn't seen it yet because he's at the market). Check it out, love it and subscribe so he can have a big old posse.

His goal is to put up new work as he makes it. Should be very cool to follow since I am always excited to see what he churns out.
Ready, Set, Go... GraffRoots

Jeremy Fish

Immigration Babies

Asher and I had our interview with immigration on Thursday afternoon.
It was a bit nerve-wracking because we weren't really prepared for what they would ask us, what would happen after the door shut behind us.
But sitting in the waiting room all around were families from different countries: Nepal, Africa, China, South America, the islands. There were little babies running their parents in circles and up and down stairs. Little one and two year olds who had just learned to use their legs. The cutest, chubbiest little babies of mixed heritage, half American and half from somewhere else in this big world. I looked at Asher and wondered who we might create, what they might look like, who they might choose to marry and create a child with. It makes the world feel very small and connected.
I have always wondered how it happened that a Seattle girl and a St. Lucian man would meet by chance or fate in a friend's apartment in Brooklyn. Who would wake up in a different apartment in Philly two days later, and completely in love.
We stayed at Taylor's apartment in Philly and Taylor had a world map printed on his shower curtain. I remember standing naked in front of it in the humid, sticky summer air. Drawing my hand from St. Lucia to New York, Seattle to New York. Amazed.

Week 2 also known as...Shame.On.Me.

I thought it was so easy. I got cocky. I figured, I had changed my pizza delivery ordering, 2% mocha drinking ways so the weight was just gonna slid off, right? Nope.

I ordered this salad at California Pizza Kitchen and didn't check the stats and the honey dijon vinegarette had more calories than the blue cheese I had sacraficed! I will never eat without checking the stats again. I also didn't eat as many veggies and fruits as the week before and I ate out. A lot.

So next week I expect greatness, I have learned my lesson. Hey there Goal, don't worry, I didn't forget about you. I will make it up to you next week.

Shhhh...Mom and I are almost finished painting

The role of "MEGAN" shall be played by this rug

This is a dream which I thought had died. It is a rug called Werner and I love her.

She was originally located on the Macy's website and I saved the picture on my desktop and in polyvore. When I went to see if they had it in stock, the friendly salesperson looked online and couldn't find it, even using my same search. I went home to prove us wrong but in my horror, it was gone.

I didn't even write down her name.

Today I wandered through Dania and there were two rugs hanging crooked. Right behind them...behold. My rug peeking out at me! Winking at me you could say.

I held up my couch swatches to her and they DID NOT MATCH. Another let down. But, I couldn't be stopped. They actually make a runner which would be darling in our hallway. And the part that looks black is actually charcoal like the tile in the bathroom. I do not know what it is but this rug is just ME. Has that ever happened to anyone else? Have you ever found your match in a...rug?

Week 1

All gone. And seriously so easy (I even ate girl scout cookies). New goal = 33 pounds by my 33rd birthday. This is only 2 pounds per week and already I am ahead of the game.

He likes it!

So I'm going to order the couch on Friday and it will come in 6-8 weeks. Do you think I will be able to handle the wait? No way, man!

I also decided on the rug and though it is $779 (on sale) at Macy's, I looked up the brand and style and found it for $649 with a free rug pad and a $50 Visa gift card (no tax, no shipping fee). Sounds like a good deal, right? Yes, but it is also probably more than we can pay in the next eight weeks so I'm saving my pennies. You might notice the colors are very similar to our wedding colors and also similar to my china pattern (per Nessa's instructions). Here is the rug, as Asher pointed out, it will look very nice with cat puke on it. Oh yeah and we are ordering the couch in "cappuccino".

Wondering....

Can you buy a couch if your husband hates it?
Tonight I am taking Asher to look at the couch at Macy's and I have my fingers crossed that he will like it but I ask...what happens if he doesn't?
We don't have drastically different taste but he will always sacrifice style for comfort. Not that the couch isn't comfortable but when faced with a sleek couch and some cushy, fluffy, dual recliner tv-watching couch, he might put up a bit of a fuss. I am thinking, it might be okay to ignore him in this case.

Suffer for Style - by loveplusmarriage on Polyvore.com

How many points is that?

Okay team, here goes....I joined Weight Watchers last night. I got off work early and decided I would go to a meeting. Dev did so good losing weight there so I hope some of her good luck rubs off on me. I have pretended to do WW before but this time I figure if I write about it then I am holding myself accountable.

Here are a few things that started to make it clear that a lifestyle change was in order:
I joked about getting the Pizza Hut deal of 2 pizzas, cheese sticks and chocolate sticks. Then, on Valentine's Day, we actually ordered it. Shame, shame.
Asher brings me home a new bread pudding flavor every day he works at the market. We split it (now) but I am sure these are terribly bad for you. I looked up a recipe and it contains massive amounts of cream and butter. Not to mention chocolate.
Daily I set in my mind like, "Today is the day to watch what I eat" but I have to take some action to make it actually be THE DAY. Ya know?
I talk really bad to myself and my depression is looming. Is that any way to live as a newlywed?
My body is not well and I can feel it. My knees hurt, my feet hurt, I have no stamina when I exercise. I generally love to exercise and I am not getting any joy from it right now.
I want to have a baby and want to be as healthy as I can be for it. And I want to be feeling HOT while I'm making that baby. It's a great motivator isn't it Dev?

SO here goes...they say you generally lose two pounds a week if you are losing weight in a healthy manner. I will report back next Thursday.

My latest crush

RUG LOVE - by loveplusmarriage on Polyvore.com

Okay...I'm note sure what your reactions will be but I am utterly in love with this rug. It is crazy and colorful and oh so charming. I think it adds some of that "kooky-ness" that seems like my style. It jazzes up the couch and chair. Plus there is some pink in there but maybe not so much that it scares Asher? I could point out that our "couch" now is kind of pink and he's been living with that for a few years. I have read tons of reviews of this sofa and they are overwhelmingly positive. Five out of five stars on Macy's and numerous blogs and readers rate it the best mid-century sofa - even compared to higher priced models. The obsession is fully formed at this point. Oh the rug...do you hate it?

The rent won't be coming in March...or in April...or in June

So after Nessa's reply to my previous post, I followed her link. And oh my, oh my. I have to say thank you because not only can I not afford their cat scratching posts but I am now in tormoil between either paying to sustain life for the next three months or purchasing this chair.

Don't you just want to lounge in it naked? Is it just me? Is the baby blue ultra suede going to my head? Does one have to pay rent (cough, cough, Ness)? This chair fits all my requirements. Lovely color. Lovely texture. Pin-tucks. Odd shape. Now I have to try to forget is exists and costs $2700. Thanks. Thanks a bunch.

Feedback Please?

Living Room Macys - by loveplusmarriage on Polyvore.com

I really love the tufted backs. Can you tell? But I fell head over heels when I saw Gwen Stefani's office in Domino magazine. She has a bunch of baby blue slipper chairs that are just perfect. This pink one from Urban Outfitters is close but the pink may just be too much for Asher to take. And depending on how long we live on Pelly Street, the clash factor is high with red walls.
I just sat, layed and rolled on this couch today at Macy's. It is on sale through February. I would probably get it in their silver/grey color or a beige brown for neutral's sake.
Please tell me what you think. I am new to grown-up decorating so I'm not sure what my taste is. These are just items that jumped out to me cause I liked 'em.

Creationism

I created these pictures for my family....Ness, the ice cream one is in homage to the lovely moment you described. JB is so cute until you see her chomping on Hank's head!

And finally, my homage to 2008 and love, starring Asher and I. Everyone wants to dog on 2008 now that 2009 has reared her hopeful, high-fiving self. But let me tell you...2008 saw Asher and I become family, Josie and Hank become (so simple, so amazing) and Mom and Dad celebrated 35 years together (and they still look at each other the way Barack looks at Michelle). 2008 can take her knocks but from the Loctor-Hardy-Ewings, we say, "Thanks Year, nice to have you here."

In fact, let's have Mama give us a cheer!